We Hail Thee Naija For Returning The Anthem We Love to Forget
BY YAHAYA KANA ISMAILA
In a shocking move that has been wildly hailed by people over 60 years of age, the Nigerian government has announced the reintroduction of the old national anthem, “Nigeria, We Hail Thee” – because, let’s face it, what’s a little identity crisis among citizens, right?
According to sources, the decision was made to “spice things up” and create a sense of nostalgia for the good old days when nobody knew which anthem was which. When asked about the rationale behind the change, a government official replied, “Why settle for one anthem when you can have two? It’s like having two for the price of one”. Wait, that’s a terrible example isn’t it?
Anyway, Misita Prez and Nigeria’s very patriotic members of the national assembly have already given voice to the notes of the poetic relic during his visit last week. I would love to have listened to the rendition of that anthem by young lawmakers like Bello El-rufai. Who knows, he may have been Hailing and Arising at the same time.
Well, in keeping with the excitement already Kickstarted by our foreign SUV-driving federal representatives, citizens are already expressing their excitement and utter confusion on social media, with some asking, “Which one do we sing at football matches or official events now?”
If Nigeria were to be Kano state, we can expect the next president to return us back to Arise O’Compatriots! But, why even return to anyone when you can have Zazu and Timaya craft us a more modern National Anthem. Then, “we can just have a national anthem playlist like the hymns in a hymn book at a catholic church wedding?” Why not? The more, the merrier…
The move is seen as a bold and ingenious attempt to distract Nigerians from the current economic and political issues, and honestly, who needs electricity and good governance when you have two anthems to choose from? Sadly, it may have appear this move has been used so much, no one is getting suckered for it!
But are we not being too harsh to ourselves? As a nation, we have become so fixated with the past and it amounts to hypocrisy to now complain when a very poetic past relic is made a permanent course of our national meal. Why, are we not even now romancing the idea of returning to parliamentary or regional government systems that our heroes past dumped for this very expensive presidential confusion?
Did you say never? Perhaps you didn’t witness the speed with which “Nigeria We Hail Thee” passed through both houses of the National Assembly and received presidential assent! I think, for want of any powers, the rest of us who the senate president declared constitutionally voiceless and so must be spoken for, must savour the sweet rhythm in this returned anthem and perhaps remix it into a party song as some of our talented artists have started. Maybe this will help tired brains like ours learn this national stale-ple.
In a related development, the government has also announced plans to reintroduce the old naira notes and make bell-bottom jeans compulsory attire for Fridays. Because, why not? If you can have a foreign rendition replace the collective work of national heroes, what will be too mighty for the pen of nostalgia?
With the labour of our heroes past now firmly in vain, it will help to bring back old prices of fuel, dollar exchange rates, old food prices, lower inflation and interest rates etc.
As we continue to drive in reverse gear, Nigerians may wish to restart that search for our ancestors’ long lost treasure chest. Who knows, those coins and old notes may be returning to value again sooner rather than later and it helps to be prepared for the inevitable!
