On Sunday, 4th February 2024, our beloved mother, Hajiya Halima (Akedi) Egya Ismaila answered the eternal call. Hajiya was the product of the union between Egya Egbe of Kwonda and Hajiya Urengi wu Ogbere Oyibo, (both late) of Odu, in Edegye chiefdom of Nassarawa LGA in Nasarawa state. Our mother may have been born between 1953 and 1955, and should, therefore, be between 78 and 83 years of age before her demise.
Hajiya Kpal as we fondly call her gave birth 12 times, but was survived by 9 – two women, Hajiya Aisha and Jamila; and 7 men; Muhammad, Idris, Ibrahim Edego, yours truly, Abdullahi, Badamasi and Al-Mare. Of these 12 births, only the birth of her last child took place in a hospital, a caesarean section. This marked the first time our mother was ever admitted to a hospital for any sickness of any kind. Sadly, her second ever visit to the hospital for which she was bedridden and underwent surgery proved to be her way out of this sinful world.
Hajiya Akedi was one of two siblings of her late father, Egya Egbe. Her elder sister, Hajiya Agune who was with her until she drew her last breath has been both a witness to, and part of the life of strife that both endured in the early days of their lives. But not only did they refuse to allow trials and albatrosses to cut them off or weigh them down, they turned their troubles into fortunes using sheer persistence as fuel, and steely grit as a strategy to overcome. A detailed description of their struggles is sure to make even the strongest of men tremble and/or marvel.
From surviving an ailment for which her people had left her for dead in a forest, to bearing witness to the destruction of her business of over 15 years in less than an hour, our mother saw and lived throughout trials and tribulations, and like a phoenix, she always rose from the ashes of the kind of pain that will swallow many whole. Mum always finds a way to come back stronger, prouder, and more convinced that she was made to take much more. I believe her clairvoyance always prepared her for the worst and for this, she fashioned out resilient shock absorbers that never buckle, no matter how much weight you pile on it.
Mother said her farewells in her own way with many not paying attention. She traversed the expanse of her locations of influence either to felicitate, commiserate or simply visit her people, including many of whom she has not seen for a long time to spend some time. In all her travels, she left them only one sermon – patience! Mother live a life with no regrets. She ate whatever she wanted and did things as at when due. Mother admonished against procrastination and even her misdeeds, borne as it were out of her infallibility, were deliberate and executed with the strongest of convictions.
Mother was the strongest person I know. She was impatient in the face of injustice. She took them on first and settled later, especially against rogue operatives. She was a warrior who took on battles that many men will cower from in fear. Her mouth carries both fire and water in equal measure, visiting fire and brimstones on anyone who threatens the collective, and clement weather on those who advance its cause. Interestingly, many of the battles mother fought were for the good of others, and for that many of them, for which she played the role of knight in pristine armour have been thrown into even more grief than the rest of us. From settling marital squabbles, to standing in the gap for others in trouble, to raising other people’s children or even settling levies and providing food for those in need, mom went all in ensuring that she left no one behind.
Mother was a unifier. To her, family is sacred. Therefore, everyone must be accounted for. It is for this reason that all her relatives, beginning with her siblings from our grandmother’s second family, dotted on her. Her best friend was our late aunt, Hajiya Uwani, with whom she shared everything and perhaps owed the baseline for many of her success stories. Our mother will go to any length to reestablish or maintain family bonds and it was not surprising when her younger brother, Abdullahi Ibrahim Al-asi (Aibro) referred to her as both a father and mother in one body. He was probably hit hardest by her demise.
Our Ene vibed with everyone and is the personification of detribalisation. Encomiums have poured in from Fulanis, Yoruba, Igbo, Idoma, Nupe, Igala and others too many to mention. The stories have been consistent. Mother has dealt with them in the religion of humanity and stood in the gap for them regardless of their station, religion, or creed. A Fulani woman for instance whose daughter gave birth in transit and was sheltered and cared for by our mother just dropped by to thank her when she met mourners. The woman’s piercing cries defined the pains she felt for losing the opportunity to thank a woman who shouldered a burden that many cringed at. Unknown to the woman, Hajiya Kpal lived only for things like that.
Our greatest consolation since her demise has been the many beautiful stories of her good deeds. Hajiya Akedi has left a legacy that I fear may be too great for all of us to keep up with. But we must soldier on, buoyed by the beauty in the life she led and inspired by the belief that the good she accomplished here has been visited on her in the afterlife. Although herculean a task, we (everyone ever impacted by her) must collectively relish her memory, while working assiduously to keep up with her life of charity, filial bonding, and defence of the defenceless.
We must, therefore, make the life of impact lived by our mother mean so much more than just a beautiful sandcastle that fritters away at the mere tug of the gentlest breeze. Mother played in the big leagues with all the top guns, but still retained the presence of mind to JoJo with even those in the lowest rung of the ladder.
In addition to the 9 children she begot, mother is survived by her husband, Alhaji Ismaila Obende, her siblings, Yahaya Ibrahim, retired Permanent Secretary; Abubakar Siddiq Ibrahim Corp Commander of the Kwara State Federal Road Safety Corps Command; Abdullahi Ibrahim Al-asi, International Consultant for Africa with the United Nations; Ibrahim Adamu of the National Clearing and Forwarding Agency; Okodula, Tani Egya and Tasala Egya all housewives.
